P 180-181- Upstream Color

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Nervous Wreak City.  I’m planning on visiting it this weekend.  I heard the weather sucks there but after the week I had at my day job I might as well get hyper-critical about my drawings and buy a one-way ticket to NWC.

 

From my recent frolic in Central Park with my old friend Blair, I was reminded of an interview with Shane Carruth, the creator of the films Primer and Upstream Color.  His first film, Primer, he made for under $7,000- but during the process of putting it together he had nervous breakdowns almost every three weeks.  So much so, he came to the point of possibly scrapping what film he already had finished due to the stress.

 

Being an artist and working alone is hard.  You are your own motivator.  And unfortunately you are the last person you want to trust to keep you motivated.

 

My remedy for this?

 

It’s much easier to be like those fitness gurus who place motivational signs in front of their treadmills like “Run Fatty Run!” or “One last mile!”  And that’s what I largely attempt to do.

 

Instead of tossing everything out I recall what Craig Thompson said at a book reading.  Things become clearer perspective-wise once you finish the work- but you must finish the work first.   Just imagine if Shane didn’t finish Primer,  the world would have lost such a great film.  So even though I don’t feel like drawing at all right now I need to look to the post-it on my computer that say: “Run Fatty Run!”

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